08/02/2009
As the sundown from the adjacent window the bells were clanging in the school tower only to indicate that one more hour passed and Raj who has been on the bed from a week looked at the clock on the wall to realize that one more dreadful day elapsed to welcome one more painful night.
07/25/2009
It's been so exciting right from the moment he heard that he was given visa to the land of opportunities, USA. As train moves he dreamt about his life in US by lying on the berth and got disturbed by sudden jerk once train stopped at Kandambam, border of Tamilanadu and Andhra. A person looked like in his forties occupied other berth in the 2nd class A/C compartment just adjacent to Raj. After long pause, the same guy introduced himself to Raj by saying he’s Amith and has come from US just two weeks ago after staying there for more than 10 years. He said ‘Good Luck’ to Raj after knowing about his visa and told him to enjoy the life to full extent but not to settle there forever, nevertheless it’s very difficult once habituated for that life . He also suggested Raj ‘India is India, once you are away from India you’ll come to know that. I thought of coming down here just after my studies, but it took me more than 10 years to realize what I lost during all these years’.
As the conversation progressed on different topics, a sudden jolting and thundering sound heard. The back bogies crossed over the front three bogies due to some joint failure and in a fraction of second the accident took away 300 lives. Amith who was just adjacent to Raj is no more and his body was chopped down to pieces without recognizing his identity. May be god has shown some mercy on Raj by leaving him just half dead with his back bones fractured, his face dislodged and all twenty four tooth broken out.
08/02/2009
As the time passes he became alone in the room after nurse leaving first and then his mom departures after making him to drink some apple juice. He started cursing the God for causing this agony, for shattering his dream of going to US? No, he never wanted to go to US till last 2 months and he always wanted to start an agribusiness to provide employment to rural youth. He only convinced himself rather than persuading his family about his interest of becoming an entrepreneur when they asked him to go abroad and make money. In retrospection, he also recollected how he had to change his mind to engineering from medical just because his family couldn’t afford it, how he had to forget Neelima in spite of loving her so much just by reason of his sister marriage, how he had to live like a niggard when all of his friends were enjoying the parties. Like wise he never lived according to his wish; it does not mean some one was interfering in his life, but he never fought back against the adverse situations. He has just taken the things for granted as they come in his way. As he thinks about his future, a famous saying echoed in his ears;
‘To live is the rarest thing in the world, most people just exit, that’s all’
He made up his mind to live actual life not just by existing but by doing what he really wanted to do. This time he did not curse the god but thanked him for making him to realize what he really wanted in all these days.
08/03/2009
He woke up early in the morning to start a fresh beginning, asked his brother to bring his favorite books (the books which he wanted to read from so many days but couldn’t due to some reasons). In the evening he called up his friends to talk about his business idea. He also called Neelima to tell sorry for his mistake. Also, he could set up music system with the help of his friends to listen to his favorite songs.
In a month he started walking with the help of stick and got approval from the bank for his business project. He soon won the Neelima’s heart and introduced to his parents too.
Sree…
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Sunday, March 22, 2009
..........a night in the train
I packed my baggage's and made sure that I was not forgetting anything. I checked once again to see my laptop, handy cam, clothes, bathing kit, novel, pulla reddy sweet box and gift which I bought for manoj’s family. I started to catch the evening train to Kakinada from secunderabad and again I had an intuition that I was forgetting something. Yes, I forgot the train ticket!!! Once again I had to ask the autowala to go back and rushed to take the ticket from the cupboard. I was bit excited to go to a village in coastal Andhra first time where the people celebrate Pongal (sankranthi) with great spiritual and religious fervor. I thought the journey was going to be bit hectic as I was with a family in the compartment leaving one more seat empty. The train started and all the passengers got settled down, I myself became busy with the novel ‘Dreaming of You’ by Lisa sitting at the window side and in between gazed at the road side fields. The train stopped in Warangal and someone in the platform shouted that the train stops for ten minutes; I got down taking some snacks and got back to my seat quickly as there was no one to take care of my bags. As train jerked, I saw a girl running towards the train and she was fast enough to catch the train before it accelerated. Whenever I travel in the train I wish for a beautiful girl to give a company to pass the time. As you know, man proposes and god disposes..Needless to say, i never had a chance to travel with a beautiful girl but that day was exceptional, I did not wish for someone to sit behind me..But the same girl who was also holding leather bag in one hand and mobile in other came towards me to occupy the window side seat which I was enjoying till then. I was bit hesitating to talk with her, but to my surprise she started the conversation by saying that the she likes novel reading and read some novels like ‘The guide’, ‘the painter of signs’, ‘11 minutes’, and ‘Alchemist’ was her best. I was quiet and listened to her although I read all those novels which she has talked about. Her voice was very sweet and cute like her lovely face. And then she started asking what I do and what were my interests..Likewise she continued to talk on movies (spoke about my fav. movie Bommarillu too), general issues like ragging in her university (I understood she’s doing MBBS), her family and her hostel life so on.. At one pint of time I had to tell her directly ’you are very talkative and sociable’ and she laughed. The time passed as she talks and mean while the train reached Vijayawada. I asked her to sit and I got down bringing some snacks. To my goodness, I heard news that the train on the same track got derailed and our train would be stopped for 3 hours. After hearing news I could see her startling face and then I had to soothe her by saying’ it’s going to be alright’. And then I proposed an idea of walking till prakasham barriage which is around 1.5 miles from the station. She denied the idea but reluctantly accepted after wards. We started walking in the shining street lights by chin-wagging, bantering, singing (her voice was very sweet).. What a night it was..One side the glittering lights near the Kanaka Durga temple looking at me with more envious and other side her glowing face just close to me..I enjoyed each and every moment of it, I was sure she did too…We wandered around the river, temples till we got tired and sat for a while near the bridge. When I was blowing in her eyes to remove dust particle an unexpected incident happened. By mistakenly I rubbed her cheek with my lips. For next few seconds both of us became silent, and then she revealed about Rahul, her boyfriend. She said that he’s very handsome (am I not?), very talented and pursuing Masters in US, and they are going to marry once she finishes her house surgeon training. I was bit discomfited and shattered by her story and asked immediately to make a move. While going back I was very curious to know more about Rahul character and could not control to be quiet. She enjoyed while talking about Rahul and in between looking at my eyes how was I felling, it was very embarrassing and I really hated those moments.
Fortunately we reached on time as the train started one hour early, I became dumb for next one hour and she was enjoying by listening songs from my lappy as if she does not know anything although the reason was very obvious. I asked her to give my lappy back as I wanted listen to music while sleeping. And the train accelerated, every one was asleep and I was awaken by some whining sounds from adjacent compartment. I looked at her berth, only to realize that she was not there. Initially I thought her going to wash room but twenty minutes later also; she was not there though her leather bag was apparent. I moved down and searched in all compartments and surprised to see her sitting in the last compartment observing the dark nature.(may be she was pondering over my behavior). I was almost slapped her to show how badly I was looking for her but moved back swiftly and laid on my berth. As I was thinking, I realized that I liked her and decided not to loose her at any amount of risk.
At 9.30 AM the train reached Kakinada and I could see my friend waiting for me in the platform from far end. But I was thinking about her and decided to express my feelings in the last minute. As I turned other side, she moved away quickly before I said anything. I did not try for my luck again and walked along with my friend towards his car and within half an hour we reached Corangi village where my friend’s family lives.
……continued
Sree...
Saturday, March 14, 2009
A disturbance of LOVE....in pursuit of destiny
Last night, when i was reading the book 'Synchro destiny' by Depak chopra i really got excited to know that life is full of coincidences and these coincidents are the signals from the universe which can guide to our destiny. Also it's being said that we can encourage those coincidents to happen more often to achieve our destiny provided we can understand those coincidents. I got an idea to do the experiment as described in that book . I sat in a dark room by closing eyes and started recollecting the major events happened in past 24 hrs. What?? Was i kidding!!! It looked insane as i thought i am not a celebrity to have major events happened daily.. I could not get anything except the monotonous work which starts from going to school and return home in the evening. This time with more firm i started to dig out the events happened in last 1 month in my life. Well, i could vividly recall going to shoping, a talk with my friend about his love problem, serious talk with my sis about my niece stomach ache,a quarrel with my close friend, a coquittish smile of a girl towards me..Once again i started to call up the incidents happened in last 1 year and i could recall huge shopping, long drive in the winter, lying to a professor in regard to work, praying for my mom's health, partying, tearful parting at airport,flirting a pune girl for quite some time, a friend's suicide and other incidents (which i think are not major).
Again with more zest i started recollecting the events happened in last 2 years. I could bring the memory of trip to north india, and and....I struck up with that incident..I tried once again to recall other incidents but the same incident disturbed again..
[It was during the village festival i was in my traditional attire with the comapany of my friends went to see the main event of the fiesta. A huge crowd assembeled around the chariot where a bare chested person with blood spilled over his face was waving to the crowd, and the priest just adjuscent to him was chanting loudly. When all the throng started roaring the person in the centre showed a lamb in his lap indicating that he was ready to slash the lamb with his teeth.And all of sudden the crowd became silent and a voice from the mob shouted NOooooooo!!!!...just behind me!!!!
Everyone gaped at the direction where the voice has come from.. and there she was draged from the group by a guy who's of almost her age... and both of them ran towards his bike before everyone got realized . I knew it was a heroic deed to save my sis friend from the people who became very furious by her move. Luckily, the uncivilized act of killing a lamb in the name of god was stopped due to the interruption which caused to lose the auspicious time. But nothing has stopped my uncle's family to be ostracized for a month despite the fact that my uncle himself was chief of the village. Out of all, it was me who gained a lot by becoming close to her and eventually loved by her.]
I tried once again to remind the other events but could not concentrate further. As i thought it's pointless to try again and i opened eyes only to hear the song ' Urumulu ni merupulai, merupulu na navvulai' played from my friend sarru's lappy in adjuscent room.
Sree...
Again with more zest i started recollecting the events happened in last 2 years. I could bring the memory of trip to north india, and and....I struck up with that incident..I tried once again to recall other incidents but the same incident disturbed again..
[It was during the village festival i was in my traditional attire with the comapany of my friends went to see the main event of the fiesta. A huge crowd assembeled around the chariot where a bare chested person with blood spilled over his face was waving to the crowd, and the priest just adjuscent to him was chanting loudly. When all the throng started roaring the person in the centre showed a lamb in his lap indicating that he was ready to slash the lamb with his teeth.And all of sudden the crowd became silent and a voice from the mob shouted NOooooooo!!!!...just behind me!!!!
Everyone gaped at the direction where the voice has come from.. and there she was draged from the group by a guy who's of almost her age... and both of them ran towards his bike before everyone got realized . I knew it was a heroic deed to save my sis friend from the people who became very furious by her move. Luckily, the uncivilized act of killing a lamb in the name of god was stopped due to the interruption which caused to lose the auspicious time. But nothing has stopped my uncle's family to be ostracized for a month despite the fact that my uncle himself was chief of the village. Out of all, it was me who gained a lot by becoming close to her and eventually loved by her.]
I tried once again to remind the other events but could not concentrate further. As i thought it's pointless to try again and i opened eyes only to hear the song ' Urumulu ni merupulai, merupulu na navvulai' played from my friend sarru's lappy in adjuscent room.
Sree...
Almost died!! but love prevailed...
It had been twenty three hours since i was laid on a bed in SS hospital, and i felt severe pain in the muscles , migraine and dizziness with head movement. O, god i can't describe what was my condition, i felt like going to die soon..I could not hear anything when people around me were talking although everyone seemed muttering themself . When i turned my head , i could see a lady in her white apron (may be doctor) saying something to Sandhya and all of sudden i could here some screaming sounds (i guess sandhya's) from my right corner. I could percieve Doctor's words ' it gonna be last day to him'. I closed my eyes before it closes forever, and thought for a while about death. The words about DEATH spoken by a great Indian philosopher echoed in my ears.
'Death is as good as birth, death is no different to birth. Either of them is inevitable and both the incidents symbolize the presence of divinity. During the birth, Lord Krishna himself comes and occupy the soul and also during death the body is taken to the burial ground where Lord Shiva abides himself. So consider the death also like symbol of exaltation.'
The words pacified my agony but could not digest the fact that sandhya 'll be left alone without me. I had never been away from her for more than one day since our wedlock. I did not want to leave her, i wanted to live for her. I made a brave attempt to get up only to tell her 'i don't want to leave you', As you know, man proposes but god disposes, i could not tell my last words to her. This time the room became so silent and i could see only darkness. I started counting the seconds and prayed god last time.
Some one was calling sree, sree, sree!!!! Hey, i could hear the sound and also i could see a glare from the window..Oops, i haven't died...Yes, god harkened to me, understood my misery and agony...
Here Sandhya explains, ''last night you have got 105 F temperature in your body due to Malaria and Doctor said that it gonna be alright. Alas!! the patient just next to you died last night and i could not talk with you as the room was occupied with many of that patient relatives.''
Sree...
'Death is as good as birth, death is no different to birth. Either of them is inevitable and both the incidents symbolize the presence of divinity. During the birth, Lord Krishna himself comes and occupy the soul and also during death the body is taken to the burial ground where Lord Shiva abides himself. So consider the death also like symbol of exaltation.'
The words pacified my agony but could not digest the fact that sandhya 'll be left alone without me. I had never been away from her for more than one day since our wedlock. I did not want to leave her, i wanted to live for her. I made a brave attempt to get up only to tell her 'i don't want to leave you', As you know, man proposes but god disposes, i could not tell my last words to her. This time the room became so silent and i could see only darkness. I started counting the seconds and prayed god last time.
Some one was calling sree, sree, sree!!!! Hey, i could hear the sound and also i could see a glare from the window..Oops, i haven't died...Yes, god harkened to me, understood my misery and agony...
Here Sandhya explains, ''last night you have got 105 F temperature in your body due to Malaria and Doctor said that it gonna be alright. Alas!! the patient just next to you died last night and i could not talk with you as the room was occupied with many of that patient relatives.''
Sree...
A scary and 'love'struck night!!
As usual the day began with morning surya namaskara, morning prayer to thank god for keeping me lively and energetic and going to school.. the day passed like any other Thursday except i thought of going back to home after maths class at 7 PM instead of going by bus at 9 PM. There was no other way other than walk by taking short route from the park side road, a road used by pedestrians which connects one end of hi-way to another hi-way ,a path which leads from the bushes and pine trees. It was very dark and only dim light rays from the main road were falling like a faint light in the graveyard. It was bit scary although i walked alone many times through that way. I started chanting 'jale rakshatu vaaraha, sthale rakhathu vaamana......'.... ( repeated loudly this time) 'jale rakshatu vaaraha, sthale rakhathu vaamana......' to kept myself brave and dauntless.. All of a sudden i heard some foot steps just behind me and it was like some one was following me closely.. I did not dare to look back to see who it was and i strode across the bushes ( with more loudly 'jale rakshatu vaaraha, sthale rakhathu vaamana......' )
..........my hand moved swiftly to where it was bitten by mosquito........................
This time i could see a shadow running just behind me and in no time it encroached me....Yes, it embraced me from behind!!!..I stopped abruptly and felt like touch of a lady..a touch i always crave for..a touch i have already familiar with..To my surprise it was my angel, Sandhya whom i fell in love at first sight, whom i was trying to propose from last couple of months. Actually, she was scared after hearing smack in the bushes and ran towards me without knowing who was walking in the front....I did not want to loose the opportunity to hug her ( though i am not her type) and instantly i also responded..I whispered close to her ' I Love you' by encroaching her completely.....
and all of a sudden i heard 'raayinaina kaakapothini, raama paadamu sokaga' (I wish i could have been a stone to be touched by Lord Rama's feet ) just close to my ears only to realize that i was dreaming..
Sree...
..........my hand moved swiftly to where it was bitten by mosquito........................
This time i could see a shadow running just behind me and in no time it encroached me....Yes, it embraced me from behind!!!..I stopped abruptly and felt like touch of a lady..a touch i always crave for..a touch i have already familiar with..To my surprise it was my angel, Sandhya whom i fell in love at first sight, whom i was trying to propose from last couple of months. Actually, she was scared after hearing smack in the bushes and ran towards me without knowing who was walking in the front....I did not want to loose the opportunity to hug her ( though i am not her type) and instantly i also responded..I whispered close to her ' I Love you' by encroaching her completely.....
and all of a sudden i heard 'raayinaina kaakapothini, raama paadamu sokaga' (I wish i could have been a stone to be touched by Lord Rama's feet ) just close to my ears only to realize that i was dreaming..
Sree...
©
Where r U, my lady love?
I was still tossing up and down in the bed and bit indolent to get up so early (about 10 AM) in the Sunday morning..I thought i will sleep for some more time so that i can have dreams and which may become true ( i know elders say that the morning dreams come true!!)..I closed my eyes only to welcome some exciting dreams but the same dream has come again...the same dream about my lady love, Sandhya..the same dream in which i would do some heroics to impress her, the same dream in which i would propose like shahid to amrita (sorry for bad comparison, but wat 2 do i like amrita rao very much), the same dream where i would long for her love and like to see her smile..the same dream where we would spend the evenings together at the pond side temple in the village by sharing my feelings by looking in to her eyes, discussing about our future and dreams ...............................(interruption in the dream).......
the same dream about how our marriage take place as if it's made in heaven, the same dream in which i would wait for her in the evening till she comes from hospital (i 4got 2 say, she's a doctor) and i sit for the dinner looking in to her eyes before we make love...
Once i get disturbed from the noisy and jazzy songs played by my friend sarru i only realize that it's already quarter past 2 and it's the time to get up and take coffee along with lunch..Every time i dream only up to our love making and this time i decided to sleep once again only to get more dreams or rather continuation of my favorite dream..But i didn't get dreams and i tried to analyze the previous dreams..i ended up with nothing except wishing it would become true..
I ask a question to myself who's sandhya? is she the same sandhya whom 'll i love, the palm reader at chilukur temple in hyderabad told me once? is she the same sandhya whom my mom was talking about when some of our relatives were looking for a match? is she the same whom i saw in an auto and ran after her unconsciously? is she the same whom i heard from one of my friends that one of his cousin's named sandhya doing MBBS?
You could say, don't be foolish..it's a crap .. it's all shear coincidence!! there are hundreds like that..Then i would suggest you to read 'power of coincidences' by Deepak chopra which says that there is some physics behind all of these..
What do you say?
Sree...
the same dream about how our marriage take place as if it's made in heaven, the same dream in which i would wait for her in the evening till she comes from hospital (i 4got 2 say, she's a doctor) and i sit for the dinner looking in to her eyes before we make love...
Once i get disturbed from the noisy and jazzy songs played by my friend sarru i only realize that it's already quarter past 2 and it's the time to get up and take coffee along with lunch..Every time i dream only up to our love making and this time i decided to sleep once again only to get more dreams or rather continuation of my favorite dream..But i didn't get dreams and i tried to analyze the previous dreams..i ended up with nothing except wishing it would become true..
I ask a question to myself who's sandhya? is she the same sandhya whom 'll i love, the palm reader at chilukur temple in hyderabad told me once? is she the same sandhya whom my mom was talking about when some of our relatives were looking for a match? is she the same whom i saw in an auto and ran after her unconsciously? is she the same whom i heard from one of my friends that one of his cousin's named sandhya doing MBBS?
You could say, don't be foolish..it's a crap .. it's all shear coincidence!! there are hundreds like that..Then i would suggest you to read 'power of coincidences' by Deepak chopra which says that there is some physics behind all of these..
What do you say?
Sree...
Never ending dream..
..................................It was very long time when i was a 8 years old kid, going to school..I think it was during summer holidays we our group of friends went to picnic to a near by village named 'kumbam' along with our teachers..There was nothing special to see or visit in that village though it has everything which makes an ideal village like full of trees,paddy fields, old temples surrounded by two ponds and banyan trees and nevertheless it's being lived by nice innocent people. Nothing has fascinated me except an old 'Ashramam' (place lived by saints and sadhus), looked like built in 17th century..thought it seemed like an old mansion with bricked walls, there was a room in underground (about 300 m deep ) where all kind of pujas (sacred rituals) are performed..
As it was very silent none of us dared to enter in to that room.
To my goodness, i was bit curious and tried to peep in to it and could see a 'Yogi' (saint) was doing meditation..When everyone has gone out of the sight, i entered in to the room only to find what was going on..The yogi opened his eyes and asked me, ' kid who are you? what do you want?. .I was scared, trembled and only realized that it's gonna be alright..He told me not to get scared by the dark and told me 'to twist my right ear twice and remind myself that i am god's son' whenever i am scared of something..That's all what he has whispered me in that dark room!!!
Believe me, I used that mantra (chant) for next eight years and i never felt fearsome or never get frightened of doing anything..After all years i only realized that the fear is an inner feeling or to say precisely a psychic feeling.. there is nothing like twisting ears r blowing nose to get rid of fear or evil..If i think now i still wonder how did i follow that chant for eight years without thinking much about it ..You can say that i was a kid who doesn't know much at that tender age... I tried to inquire about that sadhu in that village but none knows him or a matter of fact everyone said that they never ever heard of that kind of person in that village.. The interesting thing is where did that Sadhu (saint) has gone now? I only realized that it was a dream, a never ending dream which made me to live for eight years without fear..I wish i 'll have 'never ending dream' ever!!!!
Sree...
As it was very silent none of us dared to enter in to that room.
To my goodness, i was bit curious and tried to peep in to it and could see a 'Yogi' (saint) was doing meditation..When everyone has gone out of the sight, i entered in to the room only to find what was going on..The yogi opened his eyes and asked me, ' kid who are you? what do you want?. .I was scared, trembled and only realized that it's gonna be alright..He told me not to get scared by the dark and told me 'to twist my right ear twice and remind myself that i am god's son' whenever i am scared of something..That's all what he has whispered me in that dark room!!!
Believe me, I used that mantra (chant) for next eight years and i never felt fearsome or never get frightened of doing anything..After all years i only realized that the fear is an inner feeling or to say precisely a psychic feeling.. there is nothing like twisting ears r blowing nose to get rid of fear or evil..If i think now i still wonder how did i follow that chant for eight years without thinking much about it ..You can say that i was a kid who doesn't know much at that tender age... I tried to inquire about that sadhu in that village but none knows him or a matter of fact everyone said that they never ever heard of that kind of person in that village.. The interesting thing is where did that Sadhu (saint) has gone now? I only realized that it was a dream, a never ending dream which made me to live for eight years without fear..I wish i 'll have 'never ending dream' ever!!!!
Sree...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)